Remembered to take the camera

24 May

to work this morning. So, some photos from my paper route:

 

Untitled 1Untitled 2Untitled 5Untitled 7Untitled 9tie1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BTW, now that I have taken a better look at these, either there are a lot of ghosts on that lakefront, or a lot of dust. :)

 

(To those who do not know what I’m talking about – those orbs you sometimes see in photographs, the balls of faint light, are sometimes assumed to be ghosts, or some other kind of spirits, by the people who are interested of paranormal and study such phenomena. I think the assumption is that you see more of them in places which are supposed to have lots of spirit activity. The alternative explanation is that they are dust or insects caught by the camera – like that lake picture, I had the camera on automatic and it used the flash, and while there are not many insects around yet there is a lot of pollen now. And yes, I’m interested and have read a lot about ghosts, spirits, near death experiences etc, and I actually think there probably is something real behind at least some of that, and I have personally had a few experiences which would be hard to explain from a purely materialistic perspective. However if something can be explained that way I presume the most likely explanation, most times, is the mundane one)

Preoccupied with other stuff

5 May

I haven’t abandoned the blog and don’t intend to, but right now I have enough other things to worry about that I just am not in mood for any kind of regular posting. And this will probably go on for at least a month or two more.  There have been, and are probably going to be, a few rather significant changes in my life, and I need time to adjust my thinking. And get over this partial paralysis I seem to be suffering from right now. Right now doing one thing at a time is all I can manage, and moving from one thing to another takes way too much time. Mostly I would just want to escape, maybe by doing nothing but watching movies and reading novels, preferably very fluffy stuff like romantic comedies or something else I usually tend to avoid, and eat chocolates, and every time I relax a bit I seem to end up in this fugue state where I do nothing, just daydream. Or watch television. Or something.

 

I’m working on it. Once the practical stuff is over it will probably be easier to deal with the rest, I have always had this tendency to freeze when I’m waiting for something to happen.

 

So, until this situation is over I may occasionally post paintings or photos, but I intend to get into the habit of posting regularly sometime during this summer, probably after midsummer. Lets say not every day, but I am going to aim to at least two or three times each week.

 

Until then it’s going to be just when I am in the mood, and that may not be very often, I’m afraid. :)

A new painting

2 Apr

Probably going to change one of the covers to this, once I get the lettering done.

 

EPSON scanner image

Adult orphans

10 Mar

Still no finished paintings.

That family stuff was pretty serious. My father passed away a few weeks ago. It will be a few more before he is buried.

I’m middle-aged, but not that close to retirement age yet. My parents were both the youngest in their families, they married late, and got me what was pretty much the last possible moment then, before the age of test tube babies and other modern advances. And because of that I’m also an only child, as far as I know my mother did conceive once after me, but due to her age and some health issues which came up with that pregnancy the doctors talked her into having an abortion (at that time health issues were the only legal reason for abortions in this country).

And I have never married, nor had kids of my own. If I had met a suitable man I would have, but there are several reasons why that didn’t happen (a slightly overweight and painfully shy geek girl growing in a small town at an age when practically nobody of that age had weight issues in this country and there was no real geek culture here, high IQ and all the weirdness issues that can bring – yep, not that many guys were interested to start with, and I would have wanted somebody I could communicate with. Lots of them ran after I got over the shyness and started to talk. And finding other weirdoes was a lot harder before the age of internet, even in a bit larger population centers when I moved to one later. :D)

All that, and now I have no family left. My mother died young, I was in my 20′s, all my aunts and uncles are dead, my cousins were all so much older than I was that we never really got to know each other. Most people in my age group have siblings, at least one parent still alive, nieces and nephews if not children of their own.

Right now I’m feeling rather lonely. I do have friends, but that’s not the same as real family would be.

And the one thing I have been thinking about is this: being where I am is still a bit rare, but more and more people have been starting their families late, often have only one child, may very well be only children themselves… this is going to become a lot more common. Middle aged orphans with no families. What kind of impact will this have on the society as a whole? It will show in some ways, that is certain.

Some family stuff

26 Feb

I have been preoccupied with some family issues. But I will post a painting or two in a couple of days.

Heh

11 Feb

So I was reading Tao Te Ching and came across this:

verse 75

When taxes are too high,
people go hungry.
When the government is too intrusive,
people lose their spirit.

Act for the people’s benefit.
Trust them; leave them alone.

 

Talk about eternal truths. :)

Braiins…

9 Feb

I could use some. SAD time. Usually seems to hit me hardest just when it finally starts to get a bit lighter. I haven’t managed to do anything during the last month. If you don’t count backing in ditch once (needed a tow truck to get out), and a week later into a mailbox (totaled it – the company car only got a small scratch) on the paper route. Bad weather contributed, both times, in the first case a nice, untouched snow cover on a narrow road I had to back into, indistinguishable from the snow bank in the ditch, and no way to tell where the road stopped and the ditch began, and I guessed wrong. And the second time, sheer ice on that road, I braked and the damn car keeps sliding for nearly couple of meters longer in spite of the fact that the speed was about what would be a very slow jog for a human at that point.

 

Sometimes I really hate driving in winter.

 

Also the anti-inflammatory pain meds I’ve been eating for a couple of weeks (an effort to deal with the inflamed Achilles tendon I have had problems with for several months) may have had an effect, one of the possible side effects seems to be ‘may cause drowsiness’, so perhaps my reaction speed and attention have been somewhat impaired lately. Embarrassing, anyway.

 

So, let’s just say I haven’t managed anything productive.

 

I should be back in a week or two. I hope.

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