Preoccupied with other stuff

5 May

I haven’t abandoned the blog and don’t intend to, but right now I have enough other things to worry about that I just am not in mood for any kind of regular posting. And this will probably go on for at least a month or two more.  There have been, and are probably going to be, a few rather significant changes in my life, and I need time to adjust my thinking. And get over this partial paralysis I seem to be suffering from right now. Right now doing one thing at a time is all I can manage, and moving from one thing to another takes way too much time. Mostly I would just want to escape, maybe by doing nothing but watching movies and reading novels, preferably very fluffy stuff like romantic comedies or something else I usually tend to avoid, and eat chocolates, and every time I relax a bit I seem to end up in this fugue state where I do nothing, just daydream. Or watch television. Or something.

 

I’m working on it. Once the practical stuff is over it will probably be easier to deal with the rest, I have always had this tendency to freeze when I’m waiting for something to happen.

 

So, until this situation is over I may occasionally post paintings or photos, but I intend to get into the habit of posting regularly sometime during this summer, probably after midsummer. Lets say not every day, but I am going to aim to at least two or three times each week.

 

Until then it’s going to be just when I am in the mood, and that may not be very often, I’m afraid. 🙂

A new painting

2 Apr

Probably going to change one of the covers to this, once I get the lettering done.

 

EPSON scanner image

Adult orphans

10 Mar

Still no finished paintings.

That family stuff was pretty serious. My father passed away a few weeks ago. It will be a few more before he is buried.

I’m middle-aged, but not that close to retirement age yet. My parents were both the youngest in their families, they married late, and got me what was pretty much the last possible moment then, before the age of test tube babies and other modern advances. And because of that I’m also an only child, as far as I know my mother did conceive once after me, but due to her age and some health issues which came up with that pregnancy the doctors talked her into having an abortion (at that time health issues were the only legal reason for abortions in this country).

And I have never married, nor had kids of my own. If I had met a suitable man I would have, but there are several reasons why that didn’t happen (a slightly overweight and painfully shy geek girl growing in a small town at an age when practically nobody of that age had weight issues in this country and there was no real geek culture here, high IQ and all the weirdness issues that can bring – yep, not that many guys were interested to start with, and I would have wanted somebody I could communicate with. Lots of them ran after I got over the shyness and started to talk. And finding other weirdoes was a lot harder before the age of internet, even in a bit larger population centers when I moved to one later. :D)

All that, and now I have no family left. My mother died young, I was in my 20’s, all my aunts and uncles are dead, my cousins were all so much older than I was that we never really got to know each other. Most people in my age group have siblings, at least one parent still alive, nieces and nephews if not children of their own.

Right now I’m feeling rather lonely. I do have friends, but that’s not the same as real family would be.

And the one thing I have been thinking about is this: being where I am is still a bit rare, but more and more people have been starting their families late, often have only one child, may very well be only children themselves… this is going to become a lot more common. Middle aged orphans with no families. What kind of impact will this have on the society as a whole? It will show in some ways, that is certain.

Some family stuff

26 Feb

I have been preoccupied with some family issues. But I will post a painting or two in a couple of days.

Heh

11 Feb

So I was reading Tao Te Ching and came across this:

verse 75

When taxes are too high,
people go hungry.
When the government is too intrusive,
people lose their spirit.

Act for the people’s benefit.
Trust them; leave them alone.

 

Talk about eternal truths. 🙂

Braiins…

9 Feb

I could use some. SAD time. Usually seems to hit me hardest just when it finally starts to get a bit lighter. I haven’t managed to do anything during the last month. If you don’t count backing in ditch once (needed a tow truck to get out), and a week later into a mailbox (totaled it – the company car only got a small scratch) on the paper route. Bad weather contributed, both times, in the first case a nice, untouched snow cover on a narrow road I had to back into, indistinguishable from the snow bank in the ditch, and no way to tell where the road stopped and the ditch began, and I guessed wrong. And the second time, sheer ice on that road, I braked and the damn car keeps sliding for nearly couple of meters longer in spite of the fact that the speed was about what would be a very slow jog for a human at that point.

 

Sometimes I really hate driving in winter.

 

Also the anti-inflammatory pain meds I’ve been eating for a couple of weeks (an effort to deal with the inflamed Achilles tendon I have had problems with for several months) may have had an effect, one of the possible side effects seems to be ‘may cause drowsiness’, so perhaps my reaction speed and attention have been somewhat impaired lately. Embarrassing, anyway.

 

So, let’s just say I haven’t managed anything productive.

 

I should be back in a week or two. I hope.

Holiday painting

25 Dec

As in: more time to do this right now since I don’t have to work today, not as a holiday subject.

storm

 

 

 

This took me a couple of hours, and was inspired by a photo on a news story about a storm which hit England just before Christmas. Since I’m into fantasy the human figure acquired a cloak (plus I botched the legs and was too lazy to fix it – ah, a billowing cloak will hide that).

This is also my first attempt ever to paint a stormy sea. Water can be difficult. Not too bad. Hey, maybe I can have a career painting these and selling them on the market (I’m too lazy to try the other traditional, which would have been door to door, although through internet is of course always an option nowadays).  😉

Merry Christmas

23 Dec

With a Christmas tree. And again the problem with using that not very good scanner I have, this looks good enough as a small picture, and the original painting looks fairly decent, but if you enlarge this scanner image, well, some of the brush strokes can be seen in much sharper contrast than they seem to naked eye when you look at the actual painting, and the colors have changed a bit too, looking more murky in that image than they seem like in life.

EPSON scanner image

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though I am not a Christian I prefer ‘Merry Christmas’ to happy holidays or whatever. I am not a Christian because I believe in some things which are not part of the Christian doctrine, any version. For example reincarnation. And then there are some things which are part of most Christian doctrines which I don’t believe in (with the caveat that whatever I believe I acknowledge the fact that my beliefs are no guarantee of anything). In my early twenties I called myself Wiccan, now I guess just neopagan is more fitting. But while I can’t quite go with any of the Christian doctrines, not fully, I still respect Christianity, and I do have mostly Christian values since those are what I was brought up with. And the western civilization has mostly been build on those same Christian values. And I do think those of us who have been born here as the descendants of the people who build this civilization – or all variations of it – should honor them, and also Christianity, no matter what our personal beliefs happen to be. This is ours. It’s good to be polite towards those who live elsewhere, or have come here later and may have different values, but not to the point of forsaking what is our own. So western civilization is not perfect. So what? There is no such thing as perfect, not in this world, and what we have inherited is pretty damn good – we should be proud of it even when we do acknowledge the warts or blemishes we see. Remember that old saying about not throwing the baby out with the bathwater…

 

So, Merry Christmas, from a witch. 🙂

Hmm…

16 Dec

Well, here is the end result. Stone coming alive. Not my best work. I think I have to redo this. 😉

Although perhaps I will first try something a bit more colorful, I have been doing these night scenes a lot. Maybe something seasonally appropriate. Like a Christmas tree. Or just an angel. I think the wings of this one aren’t half bad.

Oh well. Practice. Then practice some more.

 

EPSON scanner image

A few days

10 Dec

I’m painting an angel. This might take a few more days, I’m trying to do something I haven’t tried before. It started as a cemetery angel, but looked a bit too ‘live’ for a statue, so I got the idea of going for a transformation: a cemetery statue in the process of turning into a real angel (well, ‘real’ as in the modern idea of angels as humans with bird wings, and mostly as pretty women with swan wings, while the biblical descriptions tend to be more varied). Or maybe an angel who had pretended to be a cemetery statue revealing herself.

So let’s see how well I’ll manage. If it works out I can probably post it in a few days.

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